Being a parent doesn’t happen overnight – it requires a lot of commitment. You have to understand that there are restrictions on providing kids with their needs and giving them their freedom. You just don’t give them everything they ask you to give them or let them do anything they want. You have to be very careful in deciding things for them, especially in those times when they might think that they don’t need your assistance in the decision-making.
Kids can become very demanding and aggressive with what they think they deserve, and something terrible usually occurs when you tend to ignore them. However, too many limitations or over-protectiveness of parents can also lead to the same thing. So as a parent, you must understand the value of giving your child the exact amount of freedom that will not compromise both you and your child’s relationship (read further here: parents.com).
Why Do You Have To Set Some Restrictions?
Kids are sensitive and as much as possible you wouldn’t want to hurt their feelings (especially on the adolescent stage.) They will eventually try to manage their stuff and set goals for themselves. However, you have to keep in mind that they will somehow have problems being in control. Setting up a restriction is needed to avoid a scary situation that your child might experience. Always remember that as a parent, there are rules you should apply to keep track of your child’s developmental progress. “Kids need parents to restrict their freedom, to narrow their choices, and to put pressure on them to meet their obligations. Kids may not appreciate all this restraint. But they need it.” Linda Sapadin, Ph.D explains.
Too Much Freedom Is Destructive
Children with too much freedom tend to have a more significant life-changing commitment to their environment. Mistakes may happen and might complicate things if not assessed well. Some of the negative implications may occur such as choosing the type of friends they want, being unable to control monetary spending habits, not being able to create decisions based on critical thinking, trying new things without warnings, dealing with official rules, attempts on making judgmental perceptions, and lose track of personal, fulfilling objectives.
Your Role As A Parent
It’s not necessarily a bad thing to give your child the freedom they want. However, you should keep in mind that your main priority is your child’s safety. You have to make sure that they understand the need for limitations to be able to distinguish what’s right from wrong. “Children are on average smaller than adults, generally know less about the world than do adults, and are economically dependent on adults.” Peter Gray Ph.D. says. Your role as a parent (even in situations where you’re thriving single parenting) includes giving them enough examples of how adults manage their decisions based on restricted rules and policies. This way, you will be able to teach them things they need to learn before they could end up doing things that might hurt them in the end. Make sure that your kids know the difference between what they want from what they think they need.
Parenting requires a lot of self-disposition. For your kids to be able to follow you, you should set an example to them. You have to assess yourself if you are giving the right amount of freedom to your child to be able to avoid insistent demands. Always remember that it is okay to put your child’s happiness first, but do not compromise with their safety. “Children must struggle to grow and learn. Saving your child from consequences and challenges now only ensures he or she will face more challenges down the road.” Joel L. Young M.D. wrote.