Why Single Moms Sometimes Don’t Make It Alone
There are thousands of single moms in the world, and they have personal reasons why they choose to stick to the situation like that. It could be because a relationship didn’t work, a spouse passed away, there’s early pregnancy, a woman is a victim of rape or abuse, it is a one-night stand incident, etc. Whatever the reasons are, it is none of everybody’s business.
What seems to be the world’s concern are the different stereotypes of single parenting. We know that every single mom tries their best to provide everything for their child. Yes, some work out perfectly fine, but sometimes it is too complicated. Most single moms assume that because they are capable of giving their child attention, that’s all there is. However, they forget to recognize some factors that motherhood can never do alone.
Facing Financial Burden
Single moms have this perseverance of providing everything for their child. They tend to do whatever it takes only to support the needs of their kid regarding financial matters. Yes, some mothers find success in this field, but still, a lot is not capable of handling the financial burden alone. That’s because raising a child nowadays require financial stability and capability. So when there’s the slightest chance of losing track on the financial balance, things can start to get messy. In an unfortunate event, if the situation gets extremely out of hand, some moms might end up having and providing nothing to their child.
Providing Full-Time Attention
Single moms that can well offer for their child’s financial needs are mothers that take a career on top of their lives. Some may not entirely agree with this statement, but it is the truth. Because the more they think about their child’s future, the more they strive in providing everything for their kid. It takes a toll on parenting because mothers can never consistently offer full-time attention while they are working and resolving financial issues at the same time. Yes, some single moms may work on it and perhaps do well, but it never secures consistency.
Supporting A Balanced Development
It is a bit funny when single moms think that a child doesn’t need a father in his life. That is practically one of the most unacceptable statements there is regarding parenting. Most single moms believe that the development of a child can flawlessly become stable even without the love and affection of a father.
“Some women are single parents through divorce or separation or unplanned pregnancies, but a growing number choose to have and a raise babies on their own. In other words, fewer and fewer women are waiting for Mr. Right,” writes Susan Newman, Ph.D.
Well, there might be cases that agree with that, but a child’s overall growth requires the contribution of both parents. Whether it is a good or lousy involvement, still, the presence and different approach in situations can allow a better judgment and learning.
“In my opinion, divorce can still (be) done better to encourage both parents to give their kids what they need. Boys need nurturing, limit setting and role models. It is tough for a single mother to provide it all,” writes Mark Banschick, M.D.
Providing Life Lessons
Single mothers can teach their kid anything. They can tell him whatever there is he needs to know. She can provide examples and situations that can improve the kid’s understanding of how things around them seem to be different. However, it is not going to be enough. Since there are lessons in life that only a father can explain smoothly, single moms won’t be able to deliver it accurately. But it’s not that these moms are incapable of doing so, it just lacks the confidence. At some unfortunate instances, single moms might pick the wrong choice of words and end up having a miscommunication with their child.
Having a child without the support of a partner is exhausting, agitating, and depressing. That’s the primary reason why single moms are vulnerable to stress. Since all the responsibilities are directly pointing at them, most moms fail to comply with their peace. The pressure somehow stops them for doing things they need to do. As a result, they end up throwing blame not only on their child, spouse, or family but themselves as well. With this instance, most moms begin to think that their decisions are wrong. They lose self-confidence and begin to question their capabilities. Stress becomes their sole excuse for the things they can no longer control.
There is no doubt single moms can raise a child. They can show love and affection that no person in the world can ever provide. “Sociologists who have studied single mothers of different races, classes, and sexual orientations have found that those mothers are rarely raising their children single-handedly. Instead, they have networks of friends and relatives and neighbors who care about them and their children, and have been part of their lives for years,” writes Bella DePaulo, Ph.D.
However, when considering a kid’s development and needs, being alone in the process is not going to be enough. Some may assume that it can all go well. But let’s face it; no mother can handle it all by herself without sacrificing a lot of things for their child. That’s the reason why there’s a complicated mother-child relationship, inconsistent parenting, and lack of development.
In an honest opinion; single moms are not capable of providing everything for their child. But what makes every struggle worth it is the smile their kids give to each one of them. And that’s one particular reason why they don’t stop being a mother.