I don’t know where to start this blog since I feel a little bit exhausted and stressed lately. I was thinking about my daughter who suddenly changed. She recently went cold and distant that’s why I wasn’t able to do anything. I had problems sleeping at night thinking of the things I have said that made her hate her mom. But then it hit me – maybe it was indeed my fault after all.
I Got Extremely Busy
Since I am a working mom, I always make sure to give my daughter everything she needs. I have to focus on my job to get a high paying salary. I spent most of my time in the office and worked late. I was too confident that it was okay because she can have anything she wants. But that wasn’t the case. She was always asleep when I get home at night while I’m too tired to spend time with her in the morning because I need to rest. I wasn’t able to answer to some of her questions because I mainly focus on my office jobs. I always don’t have time for her.
I Changed My Priorities
I thought that everything would work out fine even if I only spend 2 to 3 hours with my daughter. Though I still manage to ask her how her day was, I still have to make sure that she understands the list of ‘important’ things I must do for us to get along well with our bills and other expenses. I changed priorities once in a while, but she has never become a daily part of it. I focused too much on what I want and not considering what she needs.
I Tend To Forget Everything That Matters To Her
Yes, the apparent changes in my priority made a lot of changes on everything in my life. I forgot to ask my daughter about her feelings. I haven’t even bothered to ask what exactly makes her happy. I lost track of her achievements, passions, problems, and dreams because I was too busy thinking about working things out financially. I forgot that she also needs me.
It Was Too Late
Then I suddenly realized that things weren’t what they were before so I decided to do something and hoped I can make it up to her. My child seemed to have an unexplained sadness every time I tried to approach her, and it made me question myself ‘how long have I been doing this to her’? Even though I have decided to cut down my working hours, it didn’t seem to work anymore. Still, if I tried to put her in the center of my priorities. It didn’t seem to matter. Even though I tried to engage in everything she liked, she would always push me away.
It has been an emotional struggle for me to know that my daughter hates me. I honestly want to do something about it, but it will never be that easy. It took time for me to realize that I am not the kind of mom she needs because I was busy being a mom I thought she wanted. I taught her to be like that. It was me that made her that way.