Parenting 101: The Life In Your Shoe

 

Source: sustainingcommunity.files.wordpress.com

 

As a mom, we only want what’s best for our children even if it takes a lot of struggle. We want them to have a better understanding of what we can offer them to be able to have a good life in the future. We will try hard to teach them the things that we know will be beneficial to their overall development. In line with that, we don’t want them to commit the same mistakes we did when we were at their age.

 

The Struggle Of Keeping Things Perfect

Parenting is a tough job, and it requires a lot of hardships and determinations in most instances. However, the failure of keeping things in place is a disaster that we don’t want to happen at all costs. Since we know that there are several consequences that we should avoid, we have to make sure that our kids know when and where to ‘stop.’ It is a struggle to keep things perfect when we know that we (as a kid) tend to ignore some rules too.

 

Too Much Exploration

Experience is an excellent teacher as they say. However, if we base it on our personal experience, there are things we don’t want our children to get involved with. Though it is okay to try different things, too much adventure can sometimes lead to insanity, and the uncontrolled scenarios can become a lot more complicated than we thought. Exploring a lot of things without supervision has caused us trouble, and we don’t want our kids to get overwhelmed with their freedom in matters such as substance abuse, bad-influence friends, premarital sex, different vices, and a lot more. We want them to understand that there are things they can learn even without trying.

 

Source: indiaparenting.com

 

Trying To Become Someone You Are Not

As your child develops his character, you have to be there for him. You have to let him be the person he wants to be instead of pushing him to become someone he is not. If you tried following directions that you don’t like and ended up in a better place, then that’s good for you. However, that is not the case in most scenarios.

 

Source: indiaparenting.com

 

The Art Of Teaching A Life Lesson

If the method that is used to make you a better person made you exactly what your parents expected you to be, you have to understand that the same approach won’t become applicable to your child. Just because your parents over-protected you before doesn’t mean you have to over-protect your kids too. Remember that even generations change and that counts yours as well. Some methods of teaching vary from different scenarios, so you have to be careful when dealing with punishment and reinforcements.

Even though we are now parents, we know that we were never perfect when we were a child. We also made wrong decisions that caused us trouble. We also make bad choices now in our life. So as much as possible, we don’t want to let our children make the same mistakes we did in the past. If we can prevent it from happening, then at least we should try doing something about it.

Overprotective Mom, Isn’t That A Good Thing?

Being a mom has never been so easy when handling your child. You’ll sometimes have to make a decision that you know will hurt your child’s feelings. Though it does not always show positive results, you know there is a lesson on every choice you make for your child. There are hundreds of reasons to tell everyone that you know what’s best for your kid. You might think you are doing them a favor by mentioning what you think is right rather than what they need, but the truth is that you unnoticeably make mistakes by locking them into the kind of world you want them to have.

 

Source: pilloledizucchero.it

 

Overprotective parenting is proven to be harmful. “Overprotective parenting in low-risk environments may have negative consequences for the psychosocial development of children and youth.” Michael Ungar Ph.D. wrote. You have to realize that over the years, kids are becoming more mature and aware of their surroundings. They tend to indulge in a more adventuresome life decision and try working things out on their own. It is understandable that you only want the safety of your kids, but will they ever learn? You have to know that there are long-term consequences that will affect your child.

 

Children Become More Dependent – Children with over-protective moms have become more dependent. They will have problems dealing with life decisions and hardships because they know you are always there to take care of their misfortunes. It will not give them a chance to prove themselves and will have a low tolerance for frustrations. Seth Meyers Psy.D. advises to “recognize that some level of independence granted to the child will help them grow and evolve.”

 

They’ll Think Of Themselves As Failures – Success will never become part of their goal. Children will always rely on what you tell them, thus making it hard for them to deal with complications that they may find in the real world. They become more unaware of the potentials that hinder them from becoming a better person. “It’s challenging to send your child out into a hostile world, knowing he or she may fail, face ridicule, and struggle. Rest assured, children must struggle to grow and learn.”, Joel L. Young M.D. says.

 

The Lack Of Maturity – The problem with over-protectiveness of parents is that they always restrict their child to do something that will let them grow. It hinders maturity in a way that children will still feel the need to support and will not consider standing up on their own.

 

Source: indiaparenting.com

 

Lack Of Self-Confidence – A more substantial long-term effect of over-protectiveness is raising a less confident person. Your child might lose all the self-reliance he might have and turn it into something endangering in the long run. He will not even try new things and will become afraid of existing and facing struggles in life.

 

Always A Target Of Bullying – Yes, as much as you want to protect your child, becoming an over-protective parent will only allow bullies to enter in your kid’s life. They will become unusually defenseless and vulnerable due to a lack of social and street-savvy awareness that you may somehow take away from them.

 

Lack Of Knowledge Of Real Life Situations – Over-protectiveness is extremely dangerous to your kids. You might think you have a sense of control over them, but over time, you’ll realize that their decisions will come up as uncontrolled phenomena.

 

Source: activeforlife.com

 

Your child needs your guidance – that is a fact. However, there is always an adverse effect if you won’t let them experience things and let them learn from it. They have to know how to make decisions to be able to become the better person you want them to be.

 

The Good Side Of Having A baby At A Young Age

Source: sheknows.com

Teenage pregnancy has been a huge issue that our generation has been dealing with as of today. There are 3 out of 5 women who happen to get an accidental pregnancy, and most of their age ranges from 14 to 19 years old. Though it is something that our society has already accepted, there are still some common issues that relate to the case.

“[H]aving sex when you are teenager is not a deviant act since a majority of our children (just like us adults) do have sex at least once before our 18th birthday. Getting pregnant, or causing a pregnancy, is, however, a problem for most children and their families,” writes Michael Ungar, Ph.D.

Continue reading “The Good Side Of Having A baby At A Young Age”

Parenting: Mommy Issues

It is undeniably true that children require a lot of time and knowledge in dealing with their growing up problems. They are more sensitive and attentive to their needs, especially in the early stages of their psychological and mental development. It is considered a crucial part when they are still trying to cope up with things that they don’t truly value.

Source: woman.mynavi.jp

Continue reading “Parenting: Mommy Issues”

Adjustments You Have To Do When You Become A Mother

Source: publicdomainpictures.net

Becoming a mother is a blessing because it is one of the most incredible feelings a woman could ever imagine. It is the art of welcoming the changes in your life along with the unexpected challenges as well. “The first step to good adjustment is to understand the reality. The biggest myth is that this should be a time of idyllic happiness. It’s really a time of terrific challenge.” Arthur Kovacs, PhD explains. It is the time where you tend to focus on the important things rather than making your way out of the situations. This time, you tend to be more mature, practical, and open-minded.

Continue reading “Adjustments You Have To Do When You Become A Mother”

The 5 Typical Challenges New Moms Face

Source: pixabay.com

The joys and surprises a new baby brings might be endless, but for first-time moms, the arrival of a new tot could also signal many adjustments and challenges. We asked doctors, child therapists and other medical experts about the common hurdles new and first-time mothers often encounter and the strategies for handling each one. Pooling with the answers, we came up with a list of five along with solutions to help you cope up with each one.

Continue reading “The 5 Typical Challenges New Moms Face”

How Moms Can Bond With Their Sons

Source: pexels.com

Many moms somehow feel more excited when they find out their baby is going to be a girl. In their mind, they begin to imagine the mother-daughter bonding bound to happen during cute toddler dress shopping, playdates, and braiding sessions, among others.

Let’s admit it: the mother-daughter bonding is unparalleled, but the mother-son bonding is a whole new experience altogether. For mothers at any stage in their son’s lives—whether it be in their toddler, high school, or college years—it’s never too late to be closer to your son. “Parent-child relationships develop over time, influenced by child characteristics, parent characteristics, and the contexts in which families operate.”, Neil Farber M.D, Ph.D., CLC, CPT explains.

Source: pexels.com

Speak Your Son’s Language

If girls bond through tea dates and dolls, boys do it in an entirely different manner. Boys (especially young ones) bond through physical activities with loads of energy to spare.

If you are genuinely dedicated to forming a deeper relationship with your son, then you should learn and speak his language. It means compromising on your end by trying to engage in activities that your son loves. It could be as simple as playing ball outside, enjoying a simple video game together (check here some of the recommended video games: FamilyHype), or teaching him stuff only “dad would teach him.” Knowing that what matters to him matters just as much to you, you will notice the difference in your relationship in no time.

Just the same, try and introduce him to the things that you love doing too. It will teach him new stuff outside of his comfort zone. He will also learn excellent social communication skills that will help him in the long run.

Gently Teach Him About Women

The parents’ role in their child’s development is of great consequence. For mothers, that comes with the responsibility of being the primary source of what their boys should know about girls and women alike.

Be ready, however, because boys are quick to dismiss the idea of emotions. But that’s just because their environment teaches them to be that way. Gently reminding them how to be respectful, how to act appropriately, and how to treat girls will ensure that they grow up as the best sons every parent can hope for. It will help them to be more sensitive towards all the women in their life, including you.

“Learning respect for women starts at home, when boys watch how their mothers, sisters, and other women are treated and talked about by men. So when men at home treat women like they’re equally worthy and valued as people with needs, feelings, intelligence, skills, and power, boys are much more likely to grow up to do the same.” Brian D. Johnson, Ph.D. and Laurie Berdahl, M.D. discuss.

Source: pixabay.com

Be Patient

Boys tend to be shyer when it comes to showing emotions. They express themselves strongly through playful aggression that most mothers may not be used to.

Asking them what hurt them might take a little longer compared to girls. But remember that you are dealing with your child, and it is essential to let them have their own time to sort out what they feel. Do not rush them to confide because this will only push them to shut feelings away. Instead, slowly but surely coax them into trusting you enough to hear what they have to say.

Take note of what their language is, and approach them accordingly. After some time, they will come around too. “If you don’t have a good relationship with your child, they’re not going to listen to you. ” reminds Ruby Natale PhD, PsyD.

Each child is different. There is certainly no one-size-fits-all method when it comes to parenting. But for mothers looking to strengthen their relationship with their sons, these helpful tips might be a good start. Soon enough, they’ll all be mommy’s boys too!

Want To Buy A Grand Piano For Your Little Pianist And Become Mom Of The Year? Here Are Some Tips You Can’t Miss

want-to-buy-a-grand-piano-for-your-little-pianist-and-become-mom-of-the-year-here-are-some-tips-you-can't-miss-1
Source: ellsworth.af.mil

According to therapists, seeing parents give everything that their kids ask for gain mixed views in society. The negative thinkers tend to say that that’s what causes children to become spoiled and turn into bratty teenagers. They also assume that it prevents them from seeing the value of what they have, considering they can get anything after a little whining or persuasion.

Although no one can discount the truth in such words, it is wrong to say that all kids who get everything they want to grow up as significant sources of headache for the parents. I am a mom of three, and my children are fortunate enough to have the means to buy their needs and wants, but they only get material things as a reward for their good deeds.

My eldest daughter (11), in all honesty, is just getting a grand piano now after three years of taking lessons. Why? It’s because I know that she wants to become a pianist at this point. The instrument is expensive, yes, but who am I to hinder her development as a musician? Has it made her bratty? Not at all. She is well aware of the fact that the grand piano is now in our living room because she has earned it, and she can’t be more grateful because of it.

Considering you want to buy a grand piano for your little pianist as well and become the mom of the year in your children’s eyes, pay no mind to the people who think you are spoiling them. Nevertheless, let me give you some points on how you can buy the best one.

want-to-buy-a-grand-piano-for-your-little-pianist-and-become-mom-of-the-year-here-are-some-tips-you-can't-miss-3
Source: geograph.org.uk

To-Do List Before Buying A Grand Piano

Often, buyers, beginners and intermediate musicians alike, get too excited with the idea of buying a grand piano that they just purchase the first piano that they set their eyes on without even checking if it has some dents. Such marks cannot be seen from a distance, you know. You cannot even tell if the keys are working well from afar.

As I have mentioned above, grand pianos do not exactly come cheap. Every single penny is important, so you better take a deep breath first and remember to write the following things down on a paper before you enter a music store as a part of your to-do list.

Ask For Assistance

Even though you are either a novice or expert piano player, ask for the assistance of a sales agent before you pick and pay for a certain grand piano. Whoever that sales agent is, he or she surely knows more about the model that you are looking at than any other person in that place. After all, they are getting paid to talk about the advantages of having one piano over the other. Aside from that, if you are shopping for yourself, it will be nice if you can have the agent’s opinion as well so that you can be sure that you are on the right track.

want-to-buy-a-grand-piano-for-your-little-pianist-and-become-mom-of-the-year-here-are-some-tips-you-can't-miss-4
Source: commons.wikimedia.org

Know The Background Of The Grand Piano

People say that to know what a person’s like, you should know where he has come from first. The same thing goes with grand pianos: know its background, its manufacturer, what it’s made out of, the craftsmanship incorporated to it, and its age, if possible. This way, you can feel if it is the kind of piano that can become bequeathed to your great-great-great grandchildren in the future.

Ask About Warranty

The warranty is probably one of the most important things that you should ask about before you even start looking for specific grand pianos. The reason is that there may be some unavoidable circumstances that may happen at home, and the piano may endure some damages because of it. Ask the agent about the number of years that the warranty will be valid for, the possible fees that you will have to pay for certain repairs, as well as the included and excluded services in that warranty.

Ask About After-Sale Services

If you now have a great interest in buying a piano, ask about the aftersales services that they can offer to you. To be precise, find out if those services are free of charge. Aside from that, try to know if they can tune the instrument after some time, move it to a different location, and have ways to protect the piano in a hot climate. Do not be shy to ask for such things because you are buying a grand piano from them and, admit it, getting freebies from time to time is nice.

want-to-buy-a-grand-piano-for-your-little-pianist-and-become-mom-of-the-year-here-are-some-tips-you-can't-miss-2
Source: flickr.com

Play A Song

This is the deal-breaker part of your to-do list. Playing some tunes on the piano can tell you whether the sound it produces is of rich quality, the keys are too difficult to depress, or your child is comfortable with playing this particular grand piano. It is highly suggested to buy an instrument that is not just good on the outside but also the inside. I kid you not, that is the main thing that you should be concerned about. Hit all the keys and listen carefully to every sound it makes before you say that your piano-searching days are over.

Final Thoughts

Don’t worry about the naysayers who think you are spoiling your kids too much for buying a grand piano or whatever they want. As long as you don’t ask money from them and your babies are happy, your actions are justifiable.

Cheers to being a great mom!

How Single Moms Can Keep Their Emotional Health Intact

 

Source: commons.wikimedia.org

Single mothers are accountable for conceiving over 20 million children in America. A lot of these mothers have become or remained single because of a broken relationship, the death of her partner, or other difficult situations that psychologically impact families, especially children. Yes, even single mothers who don’t struggle with sadness, trauma, loneliness, or guilt still bear the burden of being an only parent. A single mother’s family develops its strength and resilience through her emotional health, so she must not only attend to her child’s needs but her own needs as well. “The challenges facing single parents are not that different from those of all parents. But it may be more difficult for them to create the community of support we all need to function as parents. “says Leah Klungness, Ph.D. Continue reading “How Single Moms Can Keep Their Emotional Health Intact”

Understanding Your Teen’s Behavioral Health

As a parent, it is essential that we have an idea on our teen’s behavioral health. We don’t have to know everything they do though. We have to become the parent who contributes to their developmental growth.  So how would we do that? Good thing some ways can help us achieve a better understanding of our teens’ way of thinking and responding to their environment.

Source: flickr.com

Teen Thought

Most teens feel their thoughts are sometimes scary. That’s because most of them instill this idea that no one in the world understands them. These young individuals assume that they are the only ones who struggle from emotional instability and that others don’t see their suffering. The reason why most of them are rebellious, impulsive, and unreasonable is due to their shared belief that they are always alone.  “The message we give teenagers is that they’re only ‘good’ if they’re not doing ‘bad’ things, such as doing drugs, hanging around with the wrong crowd, or having sex,” Richard Lerner, PhD explains. It becomes impossible for them to share their deepest secret because they get afraid of all the judgment they could receive. Most of the times, their decisions in life often fails. From there, they try to convince themselves that there is something wrong with the way they are. That kind of mentality damages every aspect of their health.

Teen Struggle

Even in the early years, society managed to create an environment where being different is not acceptable. That’s perhaps why most teenagers see isolation as an escape. Since they can’t handle and manage the challenges in their lives, these young individuals struggle in adapting their thoughts, emotions, and behaviors.  “Adolescence is a pivotal time for all teenagers — as they form self-identity, plan for the future, and move into adulthood. Steven Gans, MD says. That’s the reason why teens don’t try to embrace their imperfections because they know that society won’t allow them to be the person they want to become. And since our culture only focuses on right and wrong and don’t consider what’s in between, it creates a stigma. That even though these kids already understand things, they will remain incapable of doing what society thinks is appropriate.

Source: pixabay.com

Teen Mental Health

Experts from BetterHelp often say that people know that teenagers find it hard to handle different kinds of emotions, especially when the emotional turmoil gets accompanied by mental illness. The condition becomes a big deal because it creates a distance that somehow lasts for an extended period. So once these young individuals get uncomfortable and unattached, they begin to lose control. The most challenging problem then arises as they continue to lose self-confidence and self-trust. From there, everything around them looks unnecessary. That even personal growth becomes a word that no longer serves its purpose.

Teen Life Outlook

With more access to the internet and social media, most teens believe that it’s not okay to be just fine and that people only live through perfection. Most teenagers are obsessing about fame, getting hopeless with their achievements, trying so hard to fit in, and becoming someone they are not. They do quite a lot of things that encourage self-disposition. As a result, it negatively impacts their emotional and mental health. And sometimes, even if they already know that there are things bad for them, they still do it anyways. These young teenage kids feel entitled to do whatever they want because they believe that they only live for themselves. It’s understandable that they sometimes wish to have everything. But the fact that they can’t have it all destroys them.

Source: maxpixel.net

Teen Relationship

Most teens often develop an issue with the people around them. That’s because they don’t listen. They often assume they know everything that’s going on. They believe that people who contradict their decisions are enemies. These young kids feel they are mature because they always handle environmental pressure. They think that what others know is just a piece of what they only experience. That’s the reason why most teens are often agitated and angry all the time. Some of them don’t value the relationship that much because they have this idea that people can’t be trusted. With that, they only look out for themselves because they feel terrified to get hurt by the people they love. Thus they favor isolation.

Teens’ behavioral health is the most crucial part of their development. “Teens experience a ridiculous amount of cognitive and emotional variance and development.” Suzanne Degges-White Ph.D. wrote. If we parents don’t know how to tweak and handle some of its factors at an early stage, it will be too late to manage it over time. So we have to understand that it is our responsibility to help them, care for them, and do everything for the sake of their overall wellness.